Brace yourself sickness is coming!

Brace yourselves. Sickness is coming. Schools are going into meltdown as the ever present staff absence list rises in number during Autumn and Winter. 

It seems everyone is dropping like flies at my school. The sickness has spread with symptoms such as runny noses, headaches, coughs, sore throats, inability to focus and irritability taking down teachers. I woke up today with one such symptom being the dreaded sore throat. As most teachers know, this is our most powerful weapon.

I still soldiered on and attended our usual Monday briefing, where we found out 11 teachers were absence for the day and many of these classes would need to be split amongst the survivors across each year level due to budget restraints. Scanning the room, there probably are a few more teachers who need to wave the white flag. However we all are standing firm knowing that this will be a long week.

I grab a coffee back to my classroom out in Siberia. I switch the heater onto tropical and raid my draw, searching for my stash of throat lozenges. After finding them, I drink a quick mouthful of water, and set up the learning space. My bones are aching and my ears are ringing with the sound of 1H's voices outside the room.

Then I see it. As the I open the door at 9am it stares at me. The snot crusted noses and bleary eyes of the students lining up. Parents quickly patting their childs heads before dashing off, leaving dust in their wake. Those parents of the sick ones, clearly in the lead.

"Hi Mr Hyde!" spluttered a voice in the line before coughing up half a lung.

Brace yourselves teachers.

 

Say Cheese

Say Cheese!

That dreaded day arrived for Year 1F. Photo Day. This day also coincided with my routine end of Term sickness. I arrived early to set up activities, which ended up being spent replying to emails that were sent at 11:30pm all while waiting for the schedule to be sent to inform us of when we were to send our students over for their class and individual photos.

Photo Day for Primary School is when parents pay extra attention to detail. Shirts are ironed extra crisp to the point you can see the creases on the sleeves of their shirts, and their hair is styled with gel and hair spray. Some of the teachers have taken extra time to prepare themselves too. Ms Lodywik, the new graduate, has worn a bright yellow suit jacket for the first time this year. I myself wore my best polo shirt and applied eye drops to help get rid of the red eye from lack of sleep.

We open the door and parents stream in with the photo money when my colleague informs me of the time table being received and my class was due over the playground in ten minutes. Parents were ushered out in a polite, but also hurried manner while they still tried to straighten the stubborn hairs and ask us about the different packages that could be purchased. One even asked if parents could be in the family photos.

"Mr Hyde are you sick?"
"Mr Hyde, it's cold. Is it going to rain?"

After reassuring them that it wont rain, even though the storm clouds are gathering to the point that the automated lights are flicking on, we trudged along the footpaths to the playground. The class before us are just getting into position when the wind picks up. There are squeals as hair is starting to get out place and the photographer asks for eyes on him behind the camera. 

Once they are done 1B are all assigned our spot. The photographer smiles as he assigns the students a spot, however that wavers when he tries to stop the students from building sand castles in the sand and asking them to wipe it off their shorts. The wind comes again this time blowing sand up into our eyes. I struggle to not squint when he says "Say Cheese". My nose starts to run, but the ever professional me, snorts it back up. 

Onto the individuals. We trudge over to the gym where this photographer is not so friendly. He hurries through the photos. "Feet on the line, chin up. I said Chin up. Shoulder back, Move your pig tails forward! Say Cheese!" Some students have barely even had a chance to look at the camera before he snaps it and moves them on. I struggle to breathe as I ponder if he had his morning coffee before I realise it's my turn for my photo.

"Say Cheese!"

Who Is It

Who is it?

We have a thief among us. It's only 3 weeks into the school term and already we are down to the last 4 forks in the entire staffroom. 

Beth, the science teacher, is carefully eating salad with a fork and I am sitting there eating 2 minute noodles with some disposable chopsticks I found in the second draw. Like a scene from 'Survivor', teachers are eagerly scanning the room to see if anyone is finishing their lunch to try and snaffle their fork (if they are using one) when they are done.

Each term the school supplied forks and then they go missing somewhere between the draw, dishwasher and staffroom. The admin team decided to stop providing forks after calculating they have replaced over 300 forks in two years and decided that money could be spent better elsewhere. We have never ran out of cups, bowls, plates and knives, but those forks decide to go on an adventure of no return.

However it's amazing what you can achieve when your desperate. After a busy day, when all you want to do is eat some slapped up last minute dish, brainpower can shift a gear. You start going Bear Grills to identify ways to eat that lunch. You scan your dish and what is left in the drawer, mostly spoons and knives. Problem solved. You see Rob with his 3 pieces of toast topped with lettuce, egg, beetroot and steak. He is going to struggle. Others, just go the fingers while muttering who is throwing out/taking the forks home. 

When Winter sets in, you get thinking about ways to make a profit. Supplying forks from home could net a return. Some people get desperate enough they would shout a chocolate from the vending machine. Maybe whoever is taking/throwing the forks out will want to go into business.

Another year, a new adventure

Schools back! However the teachers may not be. While all students should now have been at school for at least a week, many of teachers may still be waking up from their holiday slumber and preparing themselves for the new challenges facing them for 2015.

Sitting around tables in the staffroom, the sudden realisation that the holidays are over is finally sinking in. No more 9am coffees with friends. No more gym sessions after an 8 hour sleep (lets face it, no more 8 hour sleep ins!) and that feeling of being as light and happy as a butterfly will soon be over.

A colleague of mine, Rob from the Arts departments, shares his story about his family holiday to their beach home. I sit there looking at the chocolate box. Ah the sweet chocolate box. I wonder if I will be able to hold out and keep my goal of cutting out chocolate and soft drink binges? But then it hits me.

My first week so far has saw 20 eager parents waiting outside the classroom door, on day one. All wanting to talk to me about their child while I try and supervise 20 students running, crying and just staring around their new habitat. My once neat desk now has photocopied alphabet activities, shape sorting sheets and assessments which need filing, all creating a mini Mt Everest. Don't even ask me where I put keys. They are there somewhere.

It's now the last day of the week. Brand new photocopiers are jammed, whiteboard markers are mysteriously disappearing (They are probably under the paperwork somewhere), The lolly jar that was full is now empty and the instant coffee is near depleted in the staffroom. We have survived, the state of our survival however is another story.

The students have left for the weekend and teachers are not far behind, ready for hibernation. I know I will be checking emails and screaming at the clock to slow down while I eat my chocolate to get me through this adventure.